He took me as i am;

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes" - Romans 1:16a

i was reminded today about how certainty in the gospel will lead to boasting and rejoicing in it, whereas, uncertainty will lead to being ashamed and silenced!

so many times we feel like we know that we are supposed to be sharing the gospel with our non christian friends, engaging in faithful service to God, or even doing "what is right". however we just feel like we need to push ourselves to do it, and deep down there is this sense of reluctance.

but its good to remember in these times that when we TRULY are convinced by the reality of the gospel, these actions will flow out easily and naturally!

when i read of the gospel in romans 5-8, i am allowing the Holy Spirit to work in me to drive my actions. when we dont read the word, we are forced to rely on just merely keeping the law which we know of in the 10 commandments, and in doing so, try to keep it, but fail! this is because we are using our own strength to be "righteous", rather than allowing the bible to remind us of our motivation for obedience.

often times when we feel far from God, its is probably because we havent been reading the bible to let it convince us of what we believe. even mature Christians need the reminder of the gospel often, so that they will be convinced to live in response to what they believe. (:

avoid the aliens;
10:33 PM

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

i'm gonna find another you

avoid the aliens;
10:40 AM

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

i really thank God for opening my eyes when i was reading romans 8!

i think i now understand better what it means to hope in Christ!
cos the passage was talking about how the sufferings (general suffering, rather than persecution) that we are going through now are not permanent, because God has promised that after suffering comes glory!

so what is this that we are supposed to hope in? we have the hope of redemption and adoption! this is what we have already received if we have placed our trust in Jesus. we will also have hope of being conformed to the image of Christ, and future glorification by God! haha it may not sound like such a big deal to a non believer, but to us Christians, we ought to rejoice! it is said that "the sufferings of the present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us"; for it cannot even be compared to the reward we will have, which is much much greater! (:

suffering is always seen as a bad thing, but in romans, it says that suffering is part of the process of our conformity to Christs image and future glorification. and thus when we are suffering, we can see it as God caring for us (rather than the view that God doesnt care for us, because of our circumstances)! (:

this lesson was not something that i havent heard before, but i guess it never really sunk in, because i dont really have much major suffering! but after the bible study, we were given a case study about a random mary whose father was diagnosed with cancer. she was extremely involved in church and so is her family. but because of this incident, she was embarrassed when her friends asked her why God allowed this to happen to her, despite her love for Him and her service to Him.

i guess most of us would not blatantly say that because i believe in God, therefore my life should be smooth, but i realised that many of my actions seem to imply that deep down, i subconsciously believe it. ): for example, when it comes to grades, sometimes i may be tempted to wonder how come this person who was less active in serving God, and even put in less effort than me was able to do better than me! i mean, why is that even fair???
by saying this, we are already acknowledging that service to God is supposed to result in better circumstances, since we ARE serving him!

but i guess thats where i have misunderstood the gospel. the gospel is not revealed to us so that we will have worldly joy, but rather that we will rejoice in what is to come!

a funny example was brought up about a boy who said that his dad was going to get him a bicycle, when in fact his dad had said he was going to get him a bunny! (hehe) its funny how i sometimes expect things from God when he has never promised it to me in the first place! which is kinda silly now that i think of it. :P

i learnt today that the best testimony you can be is to be one that hopes in the future of glory and conforming to the image of Christ, even in the midst of our circumstances. it is learning to not let our joy of hope be reduced by our good and bad circumstances. in good times, i am sometimes too happy to remember that there IS a greater joy that is to come, and rather i rejoice in the temporary. in bad times, i often forget that despite this, i have eternal joy in God!

so pray for me and for everyone else who is facing this: that we will remember God's word when we are faced with the suffering, because it is honestly hard to look over and above our circumstances!
but we can have HOPE that God will bring this to our remembrance if we are His children (:

avoid the aliens;
5:07 PM

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

listening to john mayer on repeat and falling in love with his voiceee~~
<3 his latest cd battlestudies!

his music takes me to another world, it takes sometime for me to come back to reality. beautiful music, genius lyrics; he really has a way with words (:

i don't remember you looking any better, but then again, i don't remember you

avoid the aliens;
8:11 AM

Sunday, January 15, 2012

wow i really thank God for today! just when i was feeling quite discouraged about certain matters, he sent comfort to me! the message and the fellowship today with the yd girls really tackled the root of my problems and why i was feeling so discouraged.

i guess it was because of a lack of faith, just not believing that God has the power to work things according to His Will, even when i pray for it. its really so amazing to see how God works, and he can work in the strangest ways!

i remembered someone told me about this person who came chuch and listened to this sermon on the king who ate grass (whats his name!!), and he converted! it was so strange as that is not usually the type of passage people will associate with conversion, but its comforting to know that there IS power in His word, whether or not we believe it. it was so funny how God really has his ways, and how he works things out in His own perfect timing (: it was just encouraging to know that He's there, and im not alone in this. i do not have to depend on choosing the right words to say at the right time, i know that if God wills, he can change any heart. and suddenly i felt like a huge burden was lifted off of my shoulders, just letting the Holy Spirit work, and not feeling guilty or anxious that i could not change how this person felt. (:

avoid the aliens;
3:42 PM

Thursday, January 12, 2012

wow francis chan is such a great speaker!

dont get me wrong, im not idolising francis chan. he is just a very charismatic speaker, and i like his style of speaking. it is very straightforward, and full of truth. he just enables me to appreciate the magnitude of what God has done for me and i thank God for the ministry of him and his wife. (:

merissa introed me to this series of videos that he spoke on Christ-centred relationships. i am just in awe of God's truth right now.

francis chan's ministry is just a blessing, and im sure it has been a blessing to many other youtube viewers. its just so amazing how God has empowered him and his wife to do so many wonderful things for his kingdom. it has just left me extremely upset with the way i have been looking at life and relationships

i used to think that perhaps if i were in a relationship, i would feel less lonely, and that the relationship will give me this sense of completeness, but i was just deluded.

the chief end of man is not to have the best marriage, but that in everything that he does, he points to Christ. i guess the world has fooled us into thinking that finding the perfect spouse is what is sooooo important. sometimes even to the point that God is left out of the marriage.

an interesting point brought up was how we are to decide if marriage or singlehood can enable us to serve God better. if it is marriage, then get married! if it is singleness, then remain single and dedicate yourself to the Lord. we are christians who HAPPEN to be married or single.

and its so funny how we all think that being Christian is separate from being like Christ, and suffering with Christ. we think that we can separate our lives into different areas, with some areas that God is not the Lord of. i guess its easy for me to say it right now, but it just is so illogical. which makes me even more ashamed of the way ive been living my life ):

in part 2 of the series on Christ centred relationships, i heard francis chan's wife speak about the role of the woman in the marriage. it was really refreshing to see a woman who was fervently seeking after God and Gods will! just dedicating each day anew to the Lord, and waiting on Him, it really showed that her faith is genuine! even sacrificing her own life long goals, just so that she could support her husband in his ministry to God! that is true submission! i can say right now that i am not half the woman she is, and furthermore not even close to being half the man Christ was. ):

i guess there is hope for me when i look to God in prayer. only his strength is able to sustain me through this long, narrow road of life.

avoid the aliens;
11:32 PM

its funny how sin causes everything to go wrong. even the simple act of reading the bible can go wrong when pride gets into the way! i was reminded during a talk of how the main aim of bible study is so that we can rightly respond to a passage that God is speaking to us.

lately i think my objectives have become warped, and i am quite obsessed with the idea of becoming someone who can interprete the bible just like that. going to regenerate bible studies and talks, i often feel very inadequate as i am not able to answer most of the questions posed, and somehow i cant think in the way that i need to. ): it is a struggle to keep up, which would leave me discouraged, thinking that i cannot interprete the bible on my own, because, what if i do it wrongly?

so this has often caused me to lose motivation to study the bible because i had told myself that i couldnt do it.

i attended a talk by regenerate and they reminded me how the aim of bible study is not about how to study the bible, but how to know God better! when i heard that, i was just ashamed. i just felt like a Pharisee. in all my efforts to try to understand the bible, i only knew how to pick out the wrongs in what people were saying, but i never really thought much about my response after reading it.

i know God will forgive me, but i hope i didnt stumble anyone just because of my pride, and my selfish pursuit for knowledge.

this is an interesting video that has been circling facebook. it was strangly apt to my situation, so i thought i should share it here. i thank God that many have been touched by it, and i hope that you, you innocent reader, will be blessed by it too.
(:

avoid the aliens;
10:29 AM

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

all we ever do is say goodbye.

avoid the aliens;
1:28 PM

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

im back from the US!

it was probably the best trip that ive had in a while, being in close company to good friends for 2 weeks! (:

i realised how ive been blessed so greatly with family friends that have always been there, since the time i was born till now. ive never really had to take the initiative to be friends with them, they just always WERE. im just so thankful for that (:

being surrounded by the beauty of nature, i was filled with awe for the Creator, who within only a matter of 7 days, created all the universe and the earth and all lifeforms within. and to think that ive only seen less than a speck on the earth, i was just overwhelmed with that thought. to be able to enjoy nature in a place far from any city was a priviledge that one cant fully appreciate until you come back to the city. just to be able to be in complete peace and perhaps darkness, with only the lights of the night sky, is in many ways very theraputic. there is a feeling of being in close connection to God, away from the distractions of the world. theres an element of being far away from problems and reality, but i guess it eventually had to come to an end.

why did it have to end ):

its only my 2nd day back, and im already aching to go some place else. im so glad though that i had this opportunity to go with my family friends; my family hadnt traveled together with them in a long time, and this is by far the furthest!

but one thing i realised in america, is that i dont think i would ever want to migrate there. it is a refreshing experience to go there once in a while, but if you actually had to live there, it would feel totally different. i felt like even though the people there were really friendly, i think that they are actually much lonelier people than people who live in cities. since everything is so far away, sometimes the only people you meet is your neighbour, who lives a 5 min drive away.

also, i was really affected by the number of poor people i saw there. i just felt like giving them a hug sometimes, cos they just looked so lost, so aimless and sad. i wish life didnt result in such inequality, but the reality is not so. as i was walking along some shops at one of the pitstops for lunch, the rest were inside subway ordering food and deciding what to eat. i just wanted to check out the shops to see what else was there to eat. then i saw this guy, he was dirty, and rugged. it looked like he hadnt had a bath in a few days, and he had his head hung low as he walked slowly, dragging his feet. he looked deep in thought, or maybe just aimless. he wasnt making any attempt to beg or anything, but he did look hungry, and weak. i just felt really really sad, but i dont know why, i just didnt have the courage to do anything.

later, we went back into subway, cos we couldnt find anything else (it was a small outlet kind of place). as i sat down with my food, i recall seeing the smiles on my friend's faces, and feeling the joy of company and conversation. then just as i forgot about the man, i saw him walking past subway. he didnt look in, he just looked straight. then i saw him reach into the dustbin, even putting his head in to see if there was anything he could take that was of value. after searching for maybe 5 seconds or so, he got up and continued walking in that same pace, dragging his feet. at that moment, tears welled up in my eyes. while we were sitting inside enjoying food and friends, this man was outside, hungry and lonely. by the time i went out of the door, he was already gone. i felt like crying, and still feel like crying everytime i think about it. i wish i had done something for this man, but its already far too late. just thinking about the poor people around the world, i just feel so helpless, cos theres just so many, and so little who are willing to help. ):

argh i feel awful now. and mood swingish. perhaps it might just be me pmsing D:

avoid the aliens;
11:16 PM

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee, Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle-shield, sword for my fight,
Be Thou my dignity, Thou my delight.
Thou my soul's shelter, Thou my high tower.
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

its such an honour to have Jesus as my guide, my wisdom, my sword, my inheritance and my Saviour! (:

avoid the aliens;
1:11 PM