Wednesday, December 28, 2011
im back from the US!
it was probably the best trip that ive had in a while, being in close company to good friends for 2 weeks! (:
i realised how ive been blessed so greatly with family friends that have always been there, since the time i was born till now. ive never really had to take the initiative to be friends with them, they just always WERE. im just so thankful for that (:
being surrounded by the beauty of nature, i was filled with awe for the Creator, who within only a matter of 7 days, created all the universe and the earth and all lifeforms within. and to think that ive only seen less than a speck on the earth, i was just overwhelmed with that thought. to be able to enjoy nature in a place far from any city was a priviledge that one cant fully appreciate until you come back to the city. just to be able to be in complete peace and perhaps darkness, with only the lights of the night sky, is in many ways very theraputic. there is a feeling of being in close connection to God, away from the distractions of the world. theres an element of being far away from problems and reality, but i guess it eventually had to come to an end.
why did it have to end ):
its only my 2nd day back, and im already aching to go some place else. im so glad though that i had this opportunity to go with my family friends; my family hadnt traveled together with them in a long time, and this is by far the furthest!
but one thing i realised in america, is that i dont think i would ever want to migrate there. it is a refreshing experience to go there once in a while, but if you actually had to live there, it would feel totally different. i felt like even though the people there were really friendly, i think that they are actually much lonelier people than people who live in cities. since everything is so far away, sometimes the only people you meet is your neighbour, who lives a 5 min drive away.
also, i was really affected by the number of poor people i saw there. i just felt like giving them a hug sometimes, cos they just looked so lost, so aimless and sad. i wish life didnt result in such inequality, but the reality is not so. as i was walking along some shops at one of the pitstops for lunch, the rest were inside subway ordering food and deciding what to eat. i just wanted to check out the shops to see what else was there to eat. then i saw this guy, he was dirty, and rugged. it looked like he hadnt had a bath in a few days, and he had his head hung low as he walked slowly, dragging his feet. he looked deep in thought, or maybe just aimless. he wasnt making any attempt to beg or anything, but he did look hungry, and weak. i just felt really really sad, but i dont know why, i just didnt have the courage to do anything.
later, we went back into subway, cos we couldnt find anything else (it was a small outlet kind of place). as i sat down with my food, i recall seeing the smiles on my friend's faces, and feeling the joy of company and conversation. then just as i forgot about the man, i saw him walking past subway. he didnt look in, he just looked straight. then i saw him reach into the dustbin, even putting his head in to see if there was anything he could take that was of value. after searching for maybe 5 seconds or so, he got up and continued walking in that same pace, dragging his feet. at that moment, tears welled up in my eyes. while we were sitting inside enjoying food and friends, this man was outside, hungry and lonely. by the time i went out of the door, he was already gone. i felt like crying, and still feel like crying everytime i think about it. i wish i had done something for this man, but its already far too late. just thinking about the poor people around the world, i just feel so helpless, cos theres just so many, and so little who are willing to help. ):
argh i feel awful now. and mood swingish. perhaps it might just be me pmsing D:
avoid the aliens;
11:16 PM