Monday, May 14, 2012
wow, its cool to find out something about myself that i didnt know! i cant believe that in my 20 years living on this earth, i never realised what was the rationale behind some of my fears.. haha and i thought that there was nothing about myself that i didnt know :P
i realised that i am quite avoidant of leadership roles because i am afraid of responsibility! haha, it may sound like a very duh thing to you, but its quite a breakthrough for me! as in i always think that if there is someone out there who can do it better than me, then they might as well lead, because of the reason of efficiency!
it also explains the reason why i am reluctant to pray in groups! like after discussion or message or sharing, i feel that the person who closes in prayer needs to edify those who are listening by summing up everything that was said in a nice neat package, and also it is a good time to hear and be encouraged by a different viewpoint of things. so i often dont want to pray, because i know someone else can sum things up better than i can.
while many of my concerns are valid: because i was concerned about whats the best way that everyone can be edified in the most efficient way possible, i realised that God does not only work through the faith of the strong. A really good point that mersa brought up was an example saying :"so does that mean that young Christians should not close in prayer, because they may not be able to sum up the message properly/ may not understand the purpose of prayer and thus pray in a "shallow" way?" i was honestly quite tempted to say yes, because i felt that inadequacy in myself. but she brought up a good point, that even the strong in faith can be encouraged and edified by a simple prayer made by a new christian! the very fact that there is willingness to pray and courage too should be an encouragement!
so we made a pact! from now on, mersa april and i will not withold ourselves from praying in groups! it is really unedifying to see a group of people that are so reluctant to pray for each other just because they feel they are inadequate. it makes it seem like we Christians dont enjoy praying, which is not true! so we were thinking, maybe we will start a praying culture in our church, by setting an example: not only to volunteer to pray when asked, but also to encourage by praying together with a friend that needs to be encouraged. (: i think if we do that, yf will not only be a place we hang out on saturdays, but a place that we can know that we will be encouraged when we are feeling down or facing problems. it will truly be what the church has intended to be: a place where we can enjoy christian fellowship (:
avoid the aliens;
1:35 AM
