Friday, September 21, 2012
this week was overwhelming to say the least!
had a major submission due on wed, fell sick, got an extension till friday because of an MC, and was still unable to finish what i planned to do. had a draft essay due at 4pm today, but managed to get an extension because my crit was on friday and i cant get anything else from other modules done before that. emailed the record number of lecturers and teaching assistants to ask for extensions and webcasting of lectures. had a history test that i went unprepared for. missed practically every lecture and tutorial that i had this week, because i was rushing for the submission on wed. and now, its after crit, im just feeling so... lost? i know its all over now, but i cant seem to get myself to relax and take it slow. it seems like i need to be doing something (yes, my essay due on saturday), but i decided to take a 2hr nap in school just to recover from the sleepless nights of the past week, and now i feel slightly more sane..
last night was really a terrible one for me. i was probably the only year 3 who hadnt submitted on wed, so the DDL was practically empty. i was wayyyy behind on what i was supposed to do, and so i had to spend the whole night slogging. there were periods of cluelessness, unresolved design ideas, loneliness, and just utter hopelessness. i knew that since my deadline was extended to friday, that i had to come up with something that at least looked complete! there were times where i just felt like crying, asking God why i was put in this situation. it was so miserable, but i received an unexpected text from a christian friend. she told me that " the Lord is in my midst, and that i should trust in Him". at this moment i just said a short prayer and thought through what i was going through, and just passed my burdens on to Him. its not to say that i magically managed to finish and sleep, but i managed to get the bare minimum done.. i think if not for the remembrance of His love and providence, i would have honestly gone insane from the stress, and who knows what i would have done :/
i know that God puts me in lifes situations for a reason. its not just to see me suffer, but to mould me to be more like Christ. i realised how "unChristlike" i was, so untrusting, and so anxious. just the remembrance of how He promises good (even if we cant see it yet) to us is enough to sustain.
avoid the aliens;
6:09 PM
