Thursday, November 07, 2013
this is jamie being confused and stressed out. if you are not in the mood for negativity and doubt, please dont read on! : / a lot of ranting..
ahhh feeling sian and confused ): i hate it when i have so many questions that are left unanswered. ): i dont even feel like doing my work anymore arghs.
how do you be salt and light in a world where everyone is seemingly "good"? what if you have nice friends? and sometimes they are even nicer than your Christian friends...
april and i were just discussing what it means to be light in the darkness, and maybe it just means being
different from them! i know im different from my friends in the goals that I have in life. and maybe its also just showing them that my standards never waiver, because i know that i am judged by a perfect God.
i dont knowwwwww. ): i wish i had Jesus beside me all the time so that He can answer my questions and be straight-forward when correcting me. i wish i knew what the best thing to do was in every situation ): (dont we all want answers)
but i never know how to react in situations where people around you say alot of vulgarities. i know im in no place to "judge" them and say they are going to hell. neither do i want to speak up (cos they arent close anyway). but do i just keep quiet??? i dont think its justified to say "can you please not say vulgarities in front of me" because its not like if i hear it, my eardrums will break or something. it doesnt affect me in any way, and yet i feel like i needa do something! ): how exactly do I be light???
so scared to ask "what would Jesus do"? cos I know that He will do radical things. im so scared to appear weird. did Jesus behave within the boundaries of social norms? he would often go into a monologue when talking to people (like suddenly talk about a parable or example) and then people would marvel, but what is it that they were marvelling about? was it about the fact that He was different? or that He had heavenly wisdom?
i feel like im talking to a wall here (more like 3 unresponsive aliens who never give me answers anyway), but i just need to write this all out to clear my head. im so sorry you had to read this (and why did you? i would have stopped once i read the warning haha) alright i will just try to forget everything that im thinking about and get back to work!
LAST WEEK JAMIE YOU CAN DO IT.
thanks alter-ego jamie for the encouragement haha
avoid the aliens;
11:48 PM
