Friday, January 24, 2014
"What is I made a mess of things? What if I couldn't manage the class? What if ...?
these were my actual thoughts as i read through the sunday school lesson. im teaching this week! and it really scares me to the core ):
the above quote was taken from this article that was so timely!
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2014/01/21/confessions-of-a-reluctant-servant/
i have been a reluctant servant one too many times, because i felt that maybe i wasnt good enough for this, or im not gifted in this area, or i feel so uncomfortable doing this. This article says that servanthood makes us uncomfortable and empties us of pride and self-exaltation! just seeing the picture of the household servant wiping feet, and thinking about my grandmother's maid, it suddenly dawned on me what it means to be a servant! this paragraph stood out to me:
"Our church crisis served as a catalyst to push me beyond my own comforts and into exploring the true depths of what servanthood really means. Servanthood is uncomfortable. It requires putting your own needs aside for someone else. It's humbling, thankless, and hard. Not only is it hard, but the act of serving can also inconvenience and interrupt out own purposes and plans."
my grandma's maid is a perfect example of servanthood. even though we kids loved to bully her and do childish things to her, she still loved us so much, as if we were her own children. Even though i would throw tantrums, i could tell that it really hurt her, but she wouldnt let that get in the way of taking care of me. whenever we wanted something to eat, she would run down to circus to get it, without even a hint of hesitation. she carried me on her back when i was tired (which was a lot of the time). when i was being a brat and not wanting to go take a bath, my grandma would get angry, but she would whisper in my ear to quickly go and bathe, or else my grandma would smack me. and she would protect me whenever my grandma tried to smack me. even though i did so many stupid things to her that i now regret so much, i know that whenever she sees me when she comes back to visit, she doesnt keep bringing up the past about how naughty i was. she is just glad to see me (`:
if only we were all like servants in church! if everyone was willing to go the extra mile, just to relieve one another and bear each others burdens. even if there is hostility/ resentment, that we still continue to show love! if there is conflict, that we forgive easily, and stop bringing up the past! that we really TRULY love one another with a love that is sincere, and a love that does not depend on how well the other person treats us.
this doesnt apply only to our relationships in church. it also applies to willingness to serve! and God has shown me that even though i am sooo inadequate in teaching, that his power is made perfect in my weakness. that people actually can learn things even with such a weak vessel like me.
also another comforting truth i was reminded of is that God doesnt need me! he uses me, even though he doesnt actually need me! it is his Spirit which works in their hearts, and it is not me or my words which can change a person's heart or behaviour. it is really entirely God's power. (:
this article also especially tackles the root cause of why we feel "arrowed" or why this word even exists in the first place! is any work for God too much?
ok maybe you are thinking that there are legit reasons for feeling arrowed: eg being too busy. it is a good reason if you have the right motives. however, theres no point in complaining and feeling as if your opinion is not heard, if you dont voice your opinion in the first place! everything can be talked about and reasoned. we are human beings. we are made to communicate. im sure if the "arrower" heard what you are going through, that they would understand why you cannot commit/serve in that particular area.
am i rambling? heh i'll stop here. cya l8r g8rs ;)
avoid the aliens;
7:00 PM
