Wednesday, December 24, 2014
i've always been quite afraid to pray for suffering/ trials from God because i know that when i do, He will really give them to me! but the YF camps have taught me that God is sovereign, which has caused me to arrive at this state of contentment that i don't think i have ever felt to this extent before! so thus i have a feeling that God is gonna "drop a bomb on me" anytime soon, so i'm gearing up..
it reminds me that i need to depend on Him daily (which i haven't been doing), so i need His help to help me kick-start my quiet time routine.
anyway, i realised that maybe it IS alright... but somehow, it points to a deeper problem? and also i cannot keep deceiving myself to think that it is alright for ME. life is definitely more complicated, which leaves me wondering whether i'm better off without? i'm comforted by the fact that life is a vapor, and i need not be stressing over things which would only last for a short while before it vanishes. the life that God has in store for me in the future is so much greater and that is the only thing that can give me fulfillment/ complete contentment. maybe im not ready for anything like this, because all it's doing is distracting me, and that is something that i cannot afford in this short, short life. there are a host of other problems that will come if i take this path, or any path for that matter. so the question is: which is worth suffering for? which is more profitable for the kingdom of God? the answer is pretty straightforward to me at this point, i just need courage to make things happen.
either way, i thank God that i am now CONTENT. content, that i have Him, and He is all that i need! (:
avoid the aliens;
11:39 AM