Tuesday, July 21, 2015
just some reflections post-submission...
i realized that its really hard to sympathize fully with people who are suffering. i was just thinking about how last night was my last time to have an all-nighter working on my project. but now that last night is over, i find it very hard to replay all those emotions that i was feeling, even though it was just a night ago! i remember having these feelings, but i just cannot "feel" it with the same depth, if you know what i mean? maybe its just me..
so i was trying to think about why God put me through this, because i know that he made me the way I am, and is sovereign over all things! in hindsight, i guess it helps me to sympathize more with people who are struggling. im not just talking about with school, but also people who are struggling with difficult lives. thesis was just one year of my life, but some people have lived with struggles for what may seem like their whole lifetime. thesis is also a first world problem, i can imagine so many people will not get this opportunity! so it taught me not to take things for granted. it taught me that even the lowest of my "lows" are really not that bad! people all around the world are facing terrible things, and feeling powerless to change their situation. sometimes we just want to ignore this fact because we were brought up so comfortably.
another thing that i've learnt to accept is that life is really just a game. i'm so afraid of screwing things up, but ultimately it doesn't even matter! its like playing a YF workshop game. Perhaps theres a bean counting station and we are supposed to pick up green beans with our chopsticks. and perhaps i suck with chopsticks and lose everytime. but so what? maybe i would decide to go to another station to see if i can win there instead! the point is that it is really not worth fretting over! okay, so perhaps i'm not best suited for this profession. but maybe it is not in the work itself that God is glorified, but the situations which he puts me through in this line of work! so this is a reminder that it is okay to screw up sometimes! life is seldom what you plan it to be, but i dont have to worry because it is in the hands of my loving Father.
but it is easy to say all this when the situation is starting to look up, especially difficult to believe it in trying situations. but i guess we are not perfect, and still so fallible and weak! maybe thats why life is not smooth sailing! because it is in the depths that we realize what hope we cling to and who/what we put our trust in!
avoid the aliens;
8:04 AM
